Episode Transcript
[00:00:05] Speaker A: In the quiet of the shadowed heart A whisper stirs the dark I lingered in the night beneath the veil of doubt each breath of silent question Lost in echo's round but somewhere deep inside a spark began to grow A fragile hope unfolding Tender as new snow.
Awakening into light from the darkened place Feel the dawn embrace your weary face Every shadow fades, every fear unwinds Let the morning find you Leave the night behind.
[00:01:15] Speaker B: We are all storytellers and the lessons learned over the last nine episodes show we can add to the narratives of our lives that aligns with who we are, why we are here, and what we truly want.
I am Jeanette Dunlop, author of Rewrite youe Story and my Book of Mantras. Welcome back to another NETI collection, part three of the Other, your podcast, where stories transform, voices rise and possibilities unfold.
Let's explore further the powerful turning point in this journey from shift to healing to releasing, consciously stepping into the next chapter of your life. The new story, the intentional, self directed version of you who is becoming.
With the continued support of your hosts Ben Jenkins and Sarah Michaels, Part 3 invites you to build a strong, enduring blueprint for lifelong growth and reinvention.
So take a breath, open your heart, and step into a conversation designed to visualize a life that reflects who you choose to be.
It's the start of your extraordinary next chapter.
[00:02:36] Speaker A: Awakening into light, heart renew and free in this gentle radiance, Become who you're meant to be.
[00:02:50] Speaker C: Welcome back to the Deep Dive.
If our previous deep dives were about the.
The essential work of understanding your past, sort of the architecture of why you are the way you are today, we really hit the accelerator.
[00:03:03] Speaker D: We do.
[00:03:03] Speaker C: We are moving directly into the design phase. We are officially beginning what we're calling part three, the new Story.
[00:03:10] Speaker D: This is the intentional shift. It's that moment we stop, you know, analyzing all the data from the rear view mirror and start using that knowledge to actually build a blueprint for the future.
[00:03:21] Speaker C: A blueprint I like.
[00:03:22] Speaker D: Yeah, this deep dive is all about application. It's about movement.
[00:03:25] Speaker C: And the material sets that tone immediately with a quote that really speaks to that forward motion. It says of all the roads you could ever travel on, the journey back to finding yourself is the most magical one.
[00:03:37] Speaker D: That phrase. I think it's so profound because it implies a reclamation. It's not about inventing a new person from scratch. It suggests that your most authentic self, the best version of your story, is something you rediscover and then, you know, amplify. We're diving into the practical strategies for that, giving you the tools to draft your new intentional future.
[00:03:57] Speaker C: Okay, let's unpack that blueprint then. Our mission today is broad, but it's also very focused. We're going to explore some really powerful practical tools for rewriting that story.
Specifically, we're focusing on the visualization and the psychological frameworks that actually make transformations stick.
[00:04:16] Speaker D: Right. And we'll start with something that might feel familiar, but is incredibly powerful. Vision boards. We're going beyond just the how to and getting into the why it works. Specifically, the five transformational steps that activate your brain's goal seeking mechanisms.
[00:04:30] Speaker C: And then we'll introduce two really essential frameworks. First, the tree strategy, which is just a brilliant visual metaphor for structuring your own growth, especially when you need guidance.
[00:04:39] Speaker D: And the second one is the conscious competence model. I love this one. It's your sort of non judgmental map for navigating the.
Well, the often awkward process of real lasting change.
[00:04:51] Speaker C: Yeah, that awkward phase is key.
[00:04:53] Speaker D: It is. Finally, we'll spend a good amount of time on lifelong learning, understanding your personal wiring through the vark model. A really powerful personal story about learning differences. And maybe the most critical part for protecting your new story, how to navigate toxic relationships. The material calls them white ants.
[00:05:14] Speaker C: White ants.
[00:05:15] Speaker D: Okay. Yeah. This is going to be a really immersive session on applied growth.
[00:05:19] Speaker C: Let's start with the vision board. I feel like most people have heard of this, but the mistake they make is treating it like, I don't know, a wish list or. It's a pretty collage.
[00:05:27] Speaker D: Exactly.
[00:05:28] Speaker C: But the material is so clear that this tool is fundamentally different. It's a powerful visual declaration of who you are becoming.
[00:05:36] Speaker D: That distinction between wanting and becoming is absolutely foundational. That's the whole point. When you create this board, you're not just sticking up a picture of a car. You weren't. You are creating the visual proof of the identity you are consciously stepping into.
[00:05:51] Speaker C: And that's the mindset shift. Right. We've spent so much time looking at the past, at the old story. The vision board is the bridge. It shifts that internal narrative from this is what's happened to me to this is where I'm headed and this is.
[00:06:04] Speaker D: The person I have to become to get there. Yes, exactly. When you commit to visually defining that future self and you keep that blueprint in your daily view, a psychological process kicks in. At first, that future self feels unfamiliar.
[00:06:18] Speaker C: A bit like an actor playing a role.
[00:06:20] Speaker D: A little.
[00:06:20] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:06:21] Speaker D: But with consistent exposure, it becomes familiar. Then it becomes believable. And finally, through action it becomes real. You are essentially normalizing your own future success.
[00:06:31] Speaker C: So it reinforces that quote you mentioned.
When your vision becomes clear, your direction becomes unstoppable. That's it. Okay, this is where we need to slow down because I think a lot of people get skeptical. Why does looking at pictures actually lead to transformation? The material outlines five specific science backed reasons why this works.
[00:06:50] Speaker D: Right. And step one is non negotiable. It clarifies your desires. Transformation needs specific intent. You can't just say I want to be happy. The blueprint is useless. Then.
[00:07:01] Speaker C: It's too vague.
[00:07:02] Speaker D: It's way too vague. The physical act of cutting out images, choosing quotes, arranging symbols, it forces you to articulate what really matters. Emotionally, physically, financially. It connects you with your deepest priorities.
[00:07:16] Speaker C: And that specificity leads us right into step two, which is where the brain science really comes in. Activating the reticular activating system.
[00:07:23] Speaker D: The ras.
[00:07:24] Speaker C: The ras?
[00:07:25] Speaker D: Yeah. The RAS is your brain's filter. It sits at the base of your brain and its job is to decide what information gets your conscious attention and what gets ignored.
Think of it like, like a bouncer at a club.
[00:07:37] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:07:37] Speaker D: It only lets in what's on the list. You know how when you decide to buy a, let's say a red truck.
[00:07:41] Speaker C: Oh, you suddenly see red trucks everywhere?
[00:07:43] Speaker D: Everywhere. It's not that more red trucks suddenly exist. It's that your RAS has been programmed to say, hey, that's relevant now pay attention.
[00:07:50] Speaker C: So by looking at your vision board every day, the images of financial freedom or that new career, you're programming your RAs to spot opportunities that align with those things precisely.
[00:08:00] Speaker D: You are training your brain to shift its focus away from past limitations and toward resources, people and chances that match what's on the board. The principle is simple. What you focus on expands.
[00:08:12] Speaker C: So you're filtering reality for possibility instead of lack.
[00:08:16] Speaker D: You've got it. That is the mechanism that moves the board from being just a wish to being an actual operational plan for your brain.
[00:08:23] Speaker C: That's the technical filter. But what about the fuel for action? That's step three. Triggering emotion and motivation.
[00:08:29] Speaker D: A to do list almost never makes you tear up.
[00:08:31] Speaker C: Right? Right.
[00:08:32] Speaker D: No, but a picture of your kids thriving or that place you've always dreamed of visiting, or a quote that just hits you in the gut that generates feeling. And that emotion is the fuel when things get hard, and they always do that emotional connection is what keeps you going.
[00:08:47] Speaker C: Step four seems to deal directly with all that past stuff we talked about in earlier deep dives. Helping overcome limiting beliefs.
[00:08:54] Speaker D: Yeah. This is the counter programming. If your old story was full of self doubt, anxiety, that feeling of, I don't deserve this, the vision board is your daily intentional interruption of that pattern.
[00:09:07] Speaker C: So it's like active therapy?
[00:09:08] Speaker D: In a way, yes. By visualizing the new self and the positive outcomes, you are literally laying down new neural pathways. You're interrupting the old loops of doubt. You stop narrating the past and start experiencing the future just by joyful repetition.
[00:09:24] Speaker C: And then step five, which is really practical. The board acts as your personal anchor.
[00:09:29] Speaker D: Life is chaos. We all know that. And in that chaos, setbacks and criticism can easily derail you. The vision board becomes your visual North Star. It's a tangible reminder of the direction you chose when you were feeling clear and motivated.
[00:09:42] Speaker C: It reminds you of who you are becoming, especially when you temporarily forget.
[00:09:46] Speaker D: Exactly.
[00:09:46] Speaker C: Okay, so for anyone listening who's ready to do this, the material gives some really clear steps. First, define a theme. Don't be vague. Is it rewrite my story or is it more specific like financial freedom?
[00:09:57] Speaker D: Yeah, or self love and confidence.
The more specific the theme, the more powerful the board. And once you have that theme, make sure the blueprint is holistic. Choose five to seven key life areas.
[00:10:09] Speaker C: Things like health, career, finances.
[00:10:13] Speaker D: Right. But also the less tangible stuff like mindset and self talk. Your environment and your contribution or impact. You want a whole life transformation, not just a new job.
[00:10:23] Speaker C: And when you're gathering materials, it's not just photos. The source says to include affirmations, like the quote, she remembered who she was and the game changed.
[00:10:31] Speaker D: I love that one.
[00:10:32] Speaker C: Me too. And symbols like a tree for resilience, a compass for direction. Or even just single words that you use as mantras like freedom or worth.
[00:10:40] Speaker D: And for the layout, the advice is to use a strong central image of you at your absolute best. Keep it focused, not cluttered. And use colors and textures that actually evoke the energy you want.
[00:10:51] Speaker C: But the most crucial part, and this is underlying everywhere in the material, is the daily connection, action, ritual. Without this, it's just art on your wall.
[00:10:58] Speaker D: Absolutely. This is the active ingredient. Twice a day, morning and evening, you have to engage with it. The source even suggests pairing it with deep breathing, like the WIM HOF method, to get grounded first.
[00:11:10] Speaker C: And then you say your top affirmations out loud.
[00:11:13] Speaker D: Yes. And then the most important part, you visualize one item as already true.
[00:11:19] Speaker C: This is where people can get tripped up, Right? It feels like pretending.
[00:11:22] Speaker D: The key is to focus on the feeling. You're not just saying, I will have this. You Close your eyes. You pick one thing on the board, say the image of you in that new career, and you force yourself to feel the accomplishment, the relief, the joy you would feel if it were already done.
[00:11:37] Speaker C: You have to feel it, you have to believe it.
[00:11:39] Speaker D: That is what reprograms the RAs. That consistent emotional visualization is what solidifies the new identity.
[00:11:46] Speaker C: Okay, so we have the destination defined with the vision board. Now we need a guide for the journey itself. And that brings us to the tree strategy.
[00:11:54] Speaker D: This is such an elegant analogy.
[00:11:55] Speaker C: It really is. It's a visual mentoring program and a framework for self analysis.
[00:11:59] Speaker D: And it works because a tree inherently represents everything. We're talking about resilience, growth, being grounded. When you're rewriting your story, you need a simple way to analyze where you're stuck and where you need support.
[00:12:13] Speaker C: Let's break down the components of this metaphor. Starting, you know, literally from the ground up.
[00:12:18] Speaker D: Okay, so we begin with the seed. This is where you come from, your origin, your history.
It acknowledges that your past is the ground your growth comes from. Even if you're trying to change the.
[00:12:28] Speaker C: Story, then you have the most important part, maybe the roots.
[00:12:32] Speaker D: That's stabilizers. They're deep, they're hidden, and they represent your core values and beliefs. This is the non negotiable foundation of who you are.
[00:12:40] Speaker C: So when the storms of life hit, it's your roots that keep you from being knocked over.
[00:12:44] Speaker D: Exactly. And you have to understand your roots because any change you make further up the tree has to be supported by them.
[00:12:50] Speaker C: Okay, so rising from the roots is the trunk.
[00:12:53] Speaker D: The trunk is your solid core. It represents your current strengths and capabilities.
What are you already good at? What skills do you have right now? It's the reliable structure of your current.
[00:13:03] Speaker C: Self and then spreading out. We have the branches.
[00:13:07] Speaker D: The branches are where it gets interesting. They represent challenges, decisions, and possible solutions. This is where active choice happens.
One branch might be the challenge of.
[00:13:17] Speaker C: Switching careers, and the little twigs coming off it are the different ways to do that. Go back to school network, start a side project.
[00:13:24] Speaker D: You got it. And the power of this model is how practical it is for problem solving.
It's not just a nice idea.
[00:13:32] Speaker C: How so?
[00:13:32] Speaker D: Well, say you keep having the same conflict over and over a broken branch. You can use the model to trace it down.
Is the problem in the trunk a skill you're missing, or is it deeper in the roots? Is this action out of alignment with one of your core values?
[00:13:48] Speaker C: I like that. It forces you to look for the root. Cause literally, if I'm procrastinating the branch is the choice to not work. But the root cause might be a limiting belief I have about success.
[00:13:59] Speaker D: Precisely. It helps you outline the steps you need to take. And it's also a fantastic tool for communication, especially with a mentor.
[00:14:05] Speaker C: How would you use it?
[00:14:06] Speaker D: With a mentor, you can literally say, okay, my roots are solid, I know my values, but I'm struggling on this specific branch. I don't know how to manage my time. It gives them a clear place to start helping you.
[00:14:17] Speaker C: That clarity is huge. It saves so much time.
[00:14:21] Speaker D: It does. And it reminds you of the core message.
You have to stand tall through the storms, the heat, the wind, the rain.
Growth is the goal. And eventually your tree becomes strong enough that other people can find shelter in your strength.
[00:14:36] Speaker C: Speaking of finding shelter, let's talk about mentorship. The material makes a really important distinction between coaching and mentoring.
[00:14:42] Speaker D: Yeah, they're not the same, though both are valuable. Coaching is more of a do it for you approach. It's task specific. A public speaking coach, a financial coach.
[00:14:51] Speaker C: They can give you the plan.
[00:14:52] Speaker D: They give you the plan. Mentoring is the do it with you approach. It's guidance, wisdom based on their experience. It's broader. You have to figure out if you need a step by step plan or experiential wisdom.
[00:15:03] Speaker C: And what's interesting here is the source's approach to finding mentors. It's less about a formal agreement and more about learning through curiosity.
[00:15:11] Speaker D: Right. In today's world, mentors are everywhere. You can be mentored by someone through their TED talks, their books, their online courses. The point is that continuous learning through others is key. You don't need permission to learn from.
[00:15:24] Speaker C: Someone'S journey, but you do need to be proactive.
Just passively consuming content doesn't count.
[00:15:29] Speaker D: No, you have to engage. If it's a person, you schedule check ins. You come prepared with questions based on your tree strategy. You have to practice active listening and be open to feedback. Learning from others requires intentional effort.
[00:15:43] Speaker C: Okay, so we have the vision, our destination, and the tree strategy as our structure.
Now we need the map that tells us where we are on the journey. And that's the conscious competence model.
[00:15:53] Speaker D: This model is so critical for rewriting your story because, let's be honest, transformation is messy. It's not a straight line, not at all. And this gives you four psychological stages of learning. Understanding where you are on the map stops you from giving up when it gets hard. It's completely non judgmental.
[00:16:10] Speaker C: Let's break down the four stages because I think just knowing this can be a huge relief for people.
[00:16:14] Speaker D: Okay, stage one, unconscious incompetence.
The simple way to put it is, I don't know what I don't know.
[00:16:22] Speaker C: This is the default setting.
[00:16:24] Speaker D: Absolutely. You are totally unaware that there's a gap in your skills or your mindset. Your old limiting habits are running on autopilot. You don't even see the need for a vision board because you're just resigned to how things are.
[00:16:37] Speaker C: So something has to happen to shake you out of that. A setback, a new piece of information.
[00:16:41] Speaker D: Exactly. And that shock pushes you into stage two, conscious incompetence. Now, the insight is, I know that I don't know.
[00:16:48] Speaker C: And this is often the most uncomfortable state.
[00:16:50] Speaker D: Oh, it's brutal.
This is where most people quit. Awareness arrives, and suddenly you see your old story, your bad habits, with glaring clarity. You know you need to change, but every time you try, it feels clumsy and you fail.
[00:17:02] Speaker C: It's that painful moment when you're aware you're doing it wrong, but you don't have the skill yet to do it right. The discomfort can be overwhelming, and you.
[00:17:10] Speaker D: Have to sit in it. But that awareness is the beginning of everything. If you can get through stage two, you move into the heavy lifting phase.
Stage three, conscious competence.
[00:17:20] Speaker C: The definition here is, I know how to do it, but I have to think about it.
[00:17:24] Speaker D: This is the bridge. It is effortful. It is intentional. It is slow. You are actively building new habits, catching the old patterns. This is you looking at your vision board and consciously choosing the new behavior.
[00:17:37] Speaker C: It takes so much mental energy.
[00:17:38] Speaker D: Immense. It's like learning a new language. You can form a sentence, but you have to think about every single word. If you're rewriting a communication pattern, this is where you have to literally pause and bite your tongue before you react. In the old way. Consistency Here is everything.
[00:17:54] Speaker C: And if you stay consistent, you reach the reward. Stage four, unconscious competence.
[00:18:00] Speaker D: It comes naturally.
[00:18:01] Speaker C: Mastery.
[00:18:02] Speaker D: This is embodiment. The new story. The new skills, they're automated. The effort of stage three is gone because this new way of being is your default. It's just who you are now. You're not striving for the new story. You are living it.
[00:18:15] Speaker C: So why does having this map matter so much for someone rewriting their story?
[00:18:20] Speaker D: Because it manages your expectations. It validates the struggle. Rewriting a story is a process of unlearning, learning and embodying. So when you're frustrated in stage three, you can look at the map and say, okay, I'm not failing. I'm on the bridge.
[00:18:34] Speaker C: It allows you to celebrate progress based on where you are, not just on the final outcome. I love this insight from the material. Awareness is the first step. Practice is the bridge. Embodiment is the reward.
[00:18:47] Speaker D: It reframes the entire process. The struggle isn't a sign of failure. It's the cost of passage. It's necessary.
[00:18:54] Speaker C: And that journey across the bridge toward mastery requires this deep commitment to lifelong learning. The world is changing so fast, and the materials really stress that continuous learning is crucial for playing what they call the infinite game of life.
[00:19:08] Speaker D: And it's not just about accumulating facts. It's about understanding your own personal wiring so that learning becomes efficient, not ashore.
[00:19:14] Speaker C: Which brings us to a really powerful personal anecdote in the material about discovering dyslexia in the late teens.
[00:19:20] Speaker D: Yes, this happened at a secretarial school on one of those old manual typewriters.
[00:19:26] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:19:26] Speaker D: And this individual was the fastest typist in the class. Incredible dexterity. But the accuracy was just abysmal. 98% inaccuracy.
[00:19:35] Speaker C: Wow. So almost everything was wrong.
[00:19:37] Speaker D: Almost everything required whiteout. The physical ability was there, but the cognitive link was broken. The big revelation came when a teacher asked her to read a dense paragraph aloud. It was a struggle. Then the teacher had an idea. Try reading it from right to left.
[00:19:53] Speaker C: Then what happened?
[00:19:54] Speaker D: It was extraordinary. Reading the words Backward, she had 100% accuracy.
[00:19:59] Speaker C: No way.
[00:20:00] Speaker D: The challenge wasn't a lack of intelligence. It was a unique wiring that processed information differently. And this completely changed her approach. Approach to learning how so? Well, because traditional reading was so hard, she had to develop exceptionally strong interpersonal skills. She learned to learn from others. Her method became this mantra. Show me, watch me, leave me.
[00:20:20] Speaker C: Show me, watch me, leave me. Let's break that down.
[00:20:22] Speaker D: Show me is the visual demonstration. Watch me is the kinesthetic practice with immediate feedback. And leave me is the transition to unconscious competence. Practicing independently until it's mastered.
[00:20:32] Speaker C: That's a powerful framework. And the takeaway for all of us is that if you try to learn in a style that clashes with your natural wiring, you're going to lose confidence. You'll think you're incompetent when it's really just the wrong teaching method.
[00:20:45] Speaker D: Exactly. Which leads us to the tool that helps you figure this out. The vark learning model. This breaks down the four main preferences for how we process information.
[00:20:55] Speaker C: Understanding your style is key to surviving that tough stage three of conscious competence.
[00:21:00] Speaker D: It absolutely is.
[00:21:01] Speaker C: Okay, let's go through the four types. First up, visual learners.
[00:21:05] Speaker D: These are the people who need to see it. They learn best with diagrams, flowcharts, videos, mind maps. If a visual learner wants to get organized, they need a color coded physical map of their plan.
[00:21:17] Speaker C: Next, audio learners.
[00:21:18] Speaker D: They need to hear it and talk about it. They thrive with podcasts, discussions, interviews, audiobooks. They learn by explaining a concept out loud to someone else.
[00:21:26] Speaker C: Then we have the kinesthetic learners.
[00:21:28] Speaker D: These are the doers, the hands on learners. They need physical engagement, experiments, role playing, building things, exercise. They need to embody the new story, not just read about it. The show me, watch me, leave me model is perfect for them.
[00:21:43] Speaker C: And finally, read, write. Learners.
[00:21:46] Speaker D: These are the people who excel with traditional methods. They need to take detailed notes, read case studies, write summaries. They internalize by engaging deeply with the written word.
[00:21:56] Speaker C: And if you're a kinesthetic learner trying to learn something from a dense textbook, you're just going to burn out and.
[00:22:02] Speaker D: Think you can't do it right when the problem was the method, not you. Knowing your style is a massive confidence saver.
[00:22:08] Speaker C: Okay, beyond how we take information in, we have to talk about how we receive feedback on the new story we're writing.
[00:22:15] Speaker D: Yes, feedback is essential. We need that external measure to know if we're on the right track and.
[00:22:20] Speaker C: The material is very clear. Feedback has to be real, not just, as they say, fluff and stuff.
[00:22:26] Speaker D: No vague compliments. For feedback to work, it has to follow clear rules rooted in what's called an above the line approach.
[00:22:33] Speaker C: Let's define that. What is above the line communication?
[00:22:36] Speaker D: Above the line behavior is built on ownership, responsibility and accountability.
It's objective and focused on improvement. Below the line behavior is based on blame, excuses and denial. It's emotional and aimed at attacking or deflecting.
[00:22:52] Speaker C: So feedback has to be given to heal, not to hurt.
[00:22:55] Speaker D: Always.
And there are strict rules for delivery. Constructive feedback, the stuff that helps you improve, must always be given in private.
[00:23:03] Speaker C: It's non negotiable.
[00:23:04] Speaker D: It protects the person's dignity. It allows them to actually hear the information without the shame of an audience. It keeps the focus on the action, not the person.
[00:23:13] Speaker C: And conversely, positive feedback or praise should be given openly in public.
[00:23:18] Speaker D: You celebrate the wins. Public praise builds confidence, reinforces good behavior and sets a positive example for everyone. It's that balance.
Private healing, public celebration.
[00:23:28] Speaker C: But what happens when you get feedback that is clearly below the line? Feedback designed to hurt you.
[00:23:33] Speaker D: The advice here is to develop actionable self awareness and call it.
[00:23:37] Speaker C: What does that mean, to call it?
[00:23:39] Speaker D: If someone says something characterized by blame or excuses, like you only Got that promotion because you were lucky. You have to recognize it immediately for what it is. Toxic communication designed to undermine your new story.
[00:23:51] Speaker C: So calling it isn't necessarily about starting a fight.
[00:23:54] Speaker D: Not at all. It's about internally recognizing the behavior. You might say that comment seems to focus on luck rather than process. I'd prefer to stick to the facts. Or you might just think to yourself, that was below the line, and then you disengage. It's about protecting your energy.
[00:24:11] Speaker C: That ability to identify below the line behavior leads us right into the hard truths about relationships. As you rewrite your story, you have to manage the people in your life. The material is very direct.
People enter our lives for a reason, a season or a life.
[00:24:27] Speaker D: It's such a helpful framework for letting go. A person for a reason teaches you a lesson. A person for a season helps you through a specific chapter. A person for life is a true anchor.
[00:24:37] Speaker C: The hard part is recognizing when a season has ended.
[00:24:40] Speaker D: It is. And the source makes a really sharp point.
Sometimes people stay in your environment not because they belong in your new story, but because you aren't ready to let go of your old one. Your own inertia keeps the toxicity around.
[00:24:53] Speaker C: This is where that powerful metaphor of the white ants comes in.
[00:24:55] Speaker D: Yes, toxic people are like white ants or termites. They don't launch a big, obvious attack. They quietly eat away at the structure of your life. Your confidence, your news story from the inside out. They are subtle, insidious, and incredibly dangerous.
[00:25:11] Speaker C: Can you give an example of what a white ant looks like in an office?
[00:25:15] Speaker D: It's the colleague who gossips constantly, who subtly undermines your ideas in meetings, or who gives you a backhanded compliment. Personally, it's the friend who rolls their eyes at your new health goals or constantly brings up your past mistakes with a joke.
[00:25:30] Speaker C: They don't deliver one big blow. They deliver a thousand tiny, corrosive bites.
[00:25:35] Speaker D: Exactly. And when you're in that difficult, effortful stage three of conscious competence, those little bites can be enough to knock you right back to stage two.
[00:25:43] Speaker C: So when you realize you have white ants, what do you do?
[00:25:46] Speaker D: When you're ready to act, when your vision is clear and your new identity is strong enough, you have to be conscious, strategic and aware.
It's not about lashing out. It's about intentional boundary setting, or sometimes intentional departure. You have to protect the house you're building.
[00:26:03] Speaker C: This all connects back to the idea of narrative, doesn't it? Every good story needs conflict.
So every story, including yours, has a villain.
[00:26:10] Speaker D: Acknowledging that isn't Being dramatic, it's being human.
The villain is the resistance that forces the hero, you, to grow. The opposition is what makes the new story necessary in the first place.
[00:26:22] Speaker C: And the material ends this section with a final Keep a pen.
[00:26:26] Speaker D: It's a physical reminder that the story is still unfolding and you are the author. Know that there is a door waiting for you to step through out of the old story into the new. But you hold the pen. You decide when to write that next sentence.
[00:26:38] Speaker C: We have covered so much ground today. We've gone from analyzing the past to fully designing the future. We've talked about the vision board, the tree strategy, the map of conscious competence, and managing the cast of characters in your life.
[00:26:50] Speaker D: And it all cycles back to that one deep question from the material. When you look into the mirror, who do you see?
That reflection is the ultimate test.
Is the old story still there? Or is the new authored story the one looking back at you?
[00:27:05] Speaker C: And that new story is reflected in all your choices, your commitment to your vision board, the mentors you seek out, the feedback you allow in, and the boundaries you set against the white ants.
[00:27:17] Speaker D: Building on that, the source challenges you with a provocative thought. It asks you to apply the conscious competence model not just to a general skill, but very specifically to your ability to give and receive feedback.
[00:27:29] Speaker C: Ooh, that's a critical nuance, because your ability to handle honest critique is what determines how fast you cross that bridge from stage three to stage four.
[00:27:37] Speaker D: Exactly. Are you still unconsciously incompetent at receiving criticism? Do you get defensive without even realizing it? Or have you practiced so much that you now unconsciously embody the skill of seeking and using feedback for growth?
[00:27:49] Speaker C: That reflection is the key to the next level of transformation.
[00:27:52] Speaker D: It really is.
[00:27:53] Speaker C: That's a perfect thought for you to carry forward. We strongly encourage you take 10 minutes today, grab a pen and answer the reflection questions from the material. Material. They're designed to make this real for you.
[00:28:03] Speaker D: Start here. First, what's your learning style from the Vark model? And how can you adjust your learning to match it?
[00:28:10] Speaker C: Second, describe the person who has been a villain in your story, and specifically, how did their opposition force you to grow?
[00:28:18] Speaker D: Third, when did you actively and strategically call it on below the line behavior? What did that conscious action feel like?
[00:28:25] Speaker C: And finally, which level of the conscious competence model are you on specifically for giving and receiving feedback? Where do you need to go next?
[00:28:33] Speaker D: These questions are your homework. They are the work of rewriting your story. Thank you for joining us for this deep dive into part three, the new.
[00:28:41] Speaker C: Story and remember the journey back to yourself is the most magical one you will ever undertake.
[00:28:46] Speaker A: Soft beams of golden promise painting skies of blood carrying forgiveness a gentle gift of love.
[00:29:02] Speaker B: Episode 10 closes with the understanding that growth is not accidental, it's architectured.
You now have a blueprint that brings structure to your aspirations and direction of your path.
By clearly defining your purpose, values and long term vision, you have set the foundation for a life of consistent evolution.
So if today's conversation reminded you that your story is evolving, we encourage you to take even the next step into your strong, enduring blueprint for lifelong growth and reinvention.
Pick up the pen, reflect, visualize and feel the authentic, beautiful person you see before you in the mirror.
To keep exploring more ways to create the other you. Be sure to subscribe and leave a five star review as it helps the message reach someone who needs it today.
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Until next week, keep writing and keep.
[00:30:13] Speaker A: The color in this gentle radiance.
Become who you're meant to be.
